i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
