I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I will pee on everything he values.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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