He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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