That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
