just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
