It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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