I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
