So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Alive.
So much puke
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
