we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Just puked most of my soul out..
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
