So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
