i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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