After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Floor bacon is actually really good
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
