four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
