break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
We named our party play list daddy issues
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
