Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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