I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
