After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
