when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
