She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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