I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
