yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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