Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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