ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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