Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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