You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
