Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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