Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
This is my gift to your gina
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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