Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
