I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
