doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
