Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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