The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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