No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
