i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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