you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
