i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize