When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
