There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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