i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
