Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
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