Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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