Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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