Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
