it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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