yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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