dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
