what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
tonight lets celebrate not being married
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
