Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
