i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize