u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
ok first of all what the fuck
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