It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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