You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
All the doctor said was why
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
