It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
