As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
