So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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