well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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