i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
